Promises, Promises: Tricks & Gimmicks to Lose & Trim

December 29th, 2010 No Comments Tags: , , , , , , ,

Oh for the love of tricks and gimmicks touting weight loss assurance with ultra toning while luring you to buy buy buy. April fools isn’t even in sight. Yes folks, the diet marketers are out in full force this week it would seem preying on your wish for a slimmer, trimmer you. Keep a cool head and that credit card in your pocket book and don’t give any of these gimmicks another thought.

Let’s start with the plastic boot mat that doubles as a sit up contraption. It looks like they hired the muscle laden models that have been out of work from the BoFlex bust with the prettiest sets of six packs you ever did see. Listen people, if you use it you’ll lose it. All you really have to do is commit to doing sit ups and other toning exercises simply by getting down to business and doing it. Repeat and within months you’ll be more toned like magic….

You need to be dumber than a dumb-bell to fall for the the shake weight gimmick. The commercial has these muscular mambos doing the hokey-pokey shaking these dumb bells looking like they’re going to burst a blood vessel in their forehead. Ya, “feel the burn” baby….Ok maybe it’ll solve your constipation problem but it looks pretty gimmicky to me. If you have normal dumb bells at home, brush the dust off of them, then make sure you use them as they were meant to be used and you’ll become stronger. Repeat and within months you’ll be more toned like magic….

Ah yes, then there’s the Flirty Girl Fitness having you dance to Booty Beat music and Chair Dance disco. Hmmmm the girl giving the testimonial exclaims “no other program ever worked for me like this before!!” Maybe Betty Sue you never shook your booty like that before. Did you ever think of that?? Oh yes and the “fitness pole” that doubles as a stripper pole that comes with it will surely make you lose weight….NOT. Look ladies, get off your duff, turn up the tunes and shake shake shake, shake your booty. You can do Flirty Girl Flabless with your own music and chair and whatever else you want to shimmy around. Just get moving. Repeat and within months you’ll be more toned like magic….

Then there’s the “5 Hour Energy” drops. Just what I’ve been looking for :-) The commercial shows some bumpkin sleepy head dragging their tired butt out of bed and taking a few drops of this elixir then TA DA they reach the front door all refreshed and energized to take on the day. Oh please, having a balanced breakfast every morning after good night’s sleep is a boring alternative to the magic drops but it works even better.

So people, there’s promise for yet more tips and gimmicks competing for your hard earned dollar this New Year. Save it!! Stash those extra dollars away for a special reward for yourself by making a real resolution this year to go slow and steady with moderation a level head and commitment. It might not be magical or hit the airwaves but it WILL surely work. Repeat and within months you’ll be more toned like magic….trust me….

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