Have Yourself a Merry Little Realistic Christmas

December 22nd, 2010 No Comments Tags: ,

Well the big day is almost here. I’m always struck by the line uttered by the Grinch “….and the noise, noise, noise, noise …..” That pretty much sums it up for many by this point in time. I’ve confessed to having the Sirius Christmas station playing daily since just before Advent in November, putting up my decorations, making the numerous preparations for the idealic, story book day. Ah from the jewelry commercials on TV to the perfect Toys ‘R Us joyous time, by now reality has set in hasn’t it? Sign me up for the un-perfect Christmas, because that’s how it unfolds, so let’s get a reality check and fast. Fa la la la la la la la la…… No, I haven’t seen Mommy kissing Santa Clause, but I saw her watching Doctor Oz!!

At this point I’ve heard that song “It’s a Marshmallow World in the Winter….” about a hundred and three times. One more time and l’m ready to yank the cord out of the wall and pitch the 2 speakers outside. Yes, just one more time….. Bahhhh….

Oh yes and the side order of guilt. When you try to divide your time between this family member and that. And what do you get after a visit to your elder neighbour? “Don’t be such a stranger.” Stranger? Me, didn’t I just come to visit. Doesn’t that qualify me to be taken off the “naughty” list to the “nice” one? Stranger. Good grief…..

Then comes the second guessing of what you bought everybody. Ya my mind is wondering if cousin Cora’s gonna like what I got her, let alone sister Sarah – ug. And after making over 120 packages of truffles I missed a bunch a people from my list by running out of them already. Oh brother.

Then comes the dinners, the parties, the lunches and brunches with the outfits that were meant for each of these shin-digs. I just dusted my new black sweater with icing sugar down the front from partaking in yet another of my Mom’s crescent cookies while standing up – oy the timing! Am I practicing what I’m preaching YET?? Come on girl, read up…follow the loser already….follow the loser….don’t be one…

And this time of year comes one bug after another – who’s got the cold, who’s got the flu, who’s got the fever and who’s coughing up a lung. Ya that special someone who is destined to sit right beside me that’s who, at the Dahoo Dorey Christmas Dinner……welcome welcome Influenza A!!

With all the reality TV shows these days I think Hollywood needs to create a true to life Christmas special based on Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. It’ll be called Frost Bite and the Twelve Dolts. Instead of the characters being Sneezy, Doc, Grumpy, Happy, Sleepy, Bashful and Dopey the cast will be Snooty, Jock, Frumpy, Slappy, Sleezy, Boastful and Gropey. There will be cameos from Sneezy, Grumpy, Happy and Dopey of course, plus Cranky. I can just see the story line now. And you won’t even need 3-D glasses it’ll be so real.

Yes indeed, sign me up for a realistic Christmas, because that’s exactly what we’re gonna get. So cut the fairy tale antics with raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens and enjoy the real day without the sugar coating. Except of course for that icing sugar dust you dropped down the front of your new sweater again. And I’ll have an extra helping of the pity pudding….and don’t give me “the look” when I do…..

And have yourself a Merry little realistic Christmas, and may all of your Christmases be white. Well ours will be green because of global warming, but what the hey….. God bless us every one and to all a good night!!

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